"Becoming a mother has deepened my creativity, connecting me to the universal pain and joy of mothers everywhere, across continents and the boundaries of time. "
"Becoming a mother has deepened my creativity, connecting me to the universal pain and joy of mothers everywhere, across continents and the boundaries of time. "
novelist Meredith Jaeger on embracing her identity as both a mother and a creative, and the challenges of combining the unpaid labor of motherhood and the often-underpaid labor of writing
Great interview. My kids are older (16, 14, 10) and I came to writing a little later in life, so I never tried to juggle creative work while they were babies and toddlers. Still, I find I must be so mindful of how I make use of those writing hours while they're at school; I think it's easy to imagine that one might write all day but caregiving/household needs have a way of seeping into those school hours, in ways that surprise me. My children are more independent in that they don't need as much supervision, yes, but they still need a lot. Thank you for shedding light on the challenges of balancing motherhood with a creative life.
As a caregiver of a disabled adult - for whom outside care is a rarity - I appreciate these insights on what it feels like to shape and retain a creative life (or frankly any kind of self identity outside of the caregiving role) within all-encompassing caregiving parameters. Allowing myself the time for my projects, scheduled on the calendar as much as possible, even in small bits, reminds me of my value.
This has gotten easier over time - but honestly it has made a huge difference financially and psychologically that our state allows parents to be paid as caregivers for disabled adults (& just recently extended that option for those under 18, which is incredible). I can afford (be worthy of) time in unpaid creative outlets because at least some of my other time is being compensated.
I'm much older now, but I remember those days of being torn between two places - writing/working and tending to my kids. When I was in one place, I felt I "should" be in the other. I admire the women who keep their creativity alive despite the roadblocks American society has set up for us.
I'm commenting on "how do you remind yourself (and people around you) that your creative work has value, even if that value isn’t always expressed in dollars?"
I am not a Mom. I am recently retired from 30+ years of full-time work. During some of those years, my creative spark was very dim. Handling the logistics of full-time work, along with the workings of a household can wear anyone to the bone (and I don't mean cleaning or traditional housework--I only do the bare minimum there--something had to give! LOL). Even making enough money to be able to pay bills and being covered by health insurance (two big hurdles for many) still made me feel I was dancing to someone else's tune. Two things helped me. First "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. I worked through the book at three different times in my life, and it was truly a lifeline for reframing my struggle and not feeling alone. On the other hand, the book seems to prioritize achieving worldly success and recognition for one's art, which has not been part of my reality. But there are many individual lessons in the book that still guide me. The second thing that helped, strangely enough, was joining the movement to resist Donald Trump and his policies in 2016 (at the age of 56). I found community and common purpose and a poetry group. A little random, perhaps, but perhaps not. The activism was hyper local, so I met people who lived near me and who held similar beliefs to mine. And with the pandemic pivot, we all learned to come together virtually. I read my poetry in a group every month (well, maybe I don't have something to read every month, but I have the opportunity, which I cherish!). I feel connected in ways that my working life never provided.
"Motherhood is unpaid labor and writing often doesn’t pay a living wage, which is a taboo topic, but it’s true. I wish both mothers and creatives were valued by society."
This statement hurts my heart. Because it feels so true. Especially because many of us (mothers) carry the majority of the caregiving responsibility load without much of an external support system. And I can relate to almost everything Meredith writes about in terms of juggling motherhood responsibilities with creative work.
How amazing that she's now on her fourth novel! I hope she celebrates the achievement of each book, despite the struggle to get there.
This interview also reminds me of something I learned when I was in college, studying Interior Architecture & Design (because I thought it was a career path that would actually pay the bills - whereas writing and art wouldn't). I learned that the American architect and designer, Frank Lloyd Wright, had a study in his home where he would retreat for days at a time when he was working on a new project. While he was busy devoting himself to his creative work, his wife was busy caring for the children, the house, and bringing him food - because he was often too busy to stop for dinner with the family. (Apparently he had 3 wives and fathered 7 children while becoming one of the most renowned architects in US history.)
I remember how mad that bit of information made me! (Probably because I was fresh out of a divorce and trying to go to an art college while being a single mom.) And it's stayed with me for years! (Probably because I fell into a similar role as the wife - supporting the business my second husband built, while taking on 95% of all child raising/household duties.)
I often wonder who I would have become, had there been someone around doing those things for me so I could focus more on my writing and art.
Yet, even though I wonder about that - I wouldn't necessarily go back and change the fact that I was the one who raised my children. I value that time I spent with them more than any books I may have previously published. And I still have hope that I will one day publish. Even if it doesn't happen, though, I know I made two incredibly beautiful human souls that will contribute to creating a better world. They were the two masterpieces I devoted my time to for the last 25 years.
And now that they're grown, I'm excited to see what I can create next.
This is a wonderful and wise interview. I find that hypercapitalist considerations even seep into the type and genre of my writing: with a novel coming out, even though it surely won't be a profitable venture, I do feel more "justified" in spending time on writing and publicizing that book, because novels are recognized by the market in a way the poetry I write is not. Like, a traditionally published novel is more "acceptable" than a poetry chapbook because corporate publishing generally favors novels over poetry. The market is everywhere, blergh!
Great interview. My kids are older (16, 14, 10) and I came to writing a little later in life, so I never tried to juggle creative work while they were babies and toddlers. Still, I find I must be so mindful of how I make use of those writing hours while they're at school; I think it's easy to imagine that one might write all day but caregiving/household needs have a way of seeping into those school hours, in ways that surprise me. My children are more independent in that they don't need as much supervision, yes, but they still need a lot. Thank you for shedding light on the challenges of balancing motherhood with a creative life.
As a caregiver of a disabled adult - for whom outside care is a rarity - I appreciate these insights on what it feels like to shape and retain a creative life (or frankly any kind of self identity outside of the caregiving role) within all-encompassing caregiving parameters. Allowing myself the time for my projects, scheduled on the calendar as much as possible, even in small bits, reminds me of my value.
This has gotten easier over time - but honestly it has made a huge difference financially and psychologically that our state allows parents to be paid as caregivers for disabled adults (& just recently extended that option for those under 18, which is incredible). I can afford (be worthy of) time in unpaid creative outlets because at least some of my other time is being compensated.
I'm much older now, but I remember those days of being torn between two places - writing/working and tending to my kids. When I was in one place, I felt I "should" be in the other. I admire the women who keep their creativity alive despite the roadblocks American society has set up for us.
I'm commenting on "how do you remind yourself (and people around you) that your creative work has value, even if that value isn’t always expressed in dollars?"
I am not a Mom. I am recently retired from 30+ years of full-time work. During some of those years, my creative spark was very dim. Handling the logistics of full-time work, along with the workings of a household can wear anyone to the bone (and I don't mean cleaning or traditional housework--I only do the bare minimum there--something had to give! LOL). Even making enough money to be able to pay bills and being covered by health insurance (two big hurdles for many) still made me feel I was dancing to someone else's tune. Two things helped me. First "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. I worked through the book at three different times in my life, and it was truly a lifeline for reframing my struggle and not feeling alone. On the other hand, the book seems to prioritize achieving worldly success and recognition for one's art, which has not been part of my reality. But there are many individual lessons in the book that still guide me. The second thing that helped, strangely enough, was joining the movement to resist Donald Trump and his policies in 2016 (at the age of 56). I found community and common purpose and a poetry group. A little random, perhaps, but perhaps not. The activism was hyper local, so I met people who lived near me and who held similar beliefs to mine. And with the pandemic pivot, we all learned to come together virtually. I read my poetry in a group every month (well, maybe I don't have something to read every month, but I have the opportunity, which I cherish!). I feel connected in ways that my working life never provided.
"Motherhood is unpaid labor and writing often doesn’t pay a living wage, which is a taboo topic, but it’s true. I wish both mothers and creatives were valued by society."
This statement hurts my heart. Because it feels so true. Especially because many of us (mothers) carry the majority of the caregiving responsibility load without much of an external support system. And I can relate to almost everything Meredith writes about in terms of juggling motherhood responsibilities with creative work.
How amazing that she's now on her fourth novel! I hope she celebrates the achievement of each book, despite the struggle to get there.
This interview also reminds me of something I learned when I was in college, studying Interior Architecture & Design (because I thought it was a career path that would actually pay the bills - whereas writing and art wouldn't). I learned that the American architect and designer, Frank Lloyd Wright, had a study in his home where he would retreat for days at a time when he was working on a new project. While he was busy devoting himself to his creative work, his wife was busy caring for the children, the house, and bringing him food - because he was often too busy to stop for dinner with the family. (Apparently he had 3 wives and fathered 7 children while becoming one of the most renowned architects in US history.)
I remember how mad that bit of information made me! (Probably because I was fresh out of a divorce and trying to go to an art college while being a single mom.) And it's stayed with me for years! (Probably because I fell into a similar role as the wife - supporting the business my second husband built, while taking on 95% of all child raising/household duties.)
I often wonder who I would have become, had there been someone around doing those things for me so I could focus more on my writing and art.
Yet, even though I wonder about that - I wouldn't necessarily go back and change the fact that I was the one who raised my children. I value that time I spent with them more than any books I may have previously published. And I still have hope that I will one day publish. Even if it doesn't happen, though, I know I made two incredibly beautiful human souls that will contribute to creating a better world. They were the two masterpieces I devoted my time to for the last 25 years.
And now that they're grown, I'm excited to see what I can create next.
This is a wonderful and wise interview. I find that hypercapitalist considerations even seep into the type and genre of my writing: with a novel coming out, even though it surely won't be a profitable venture, I do feel more "justified" in spending time on writing and publicizing that book, because novels are recognized by the market in a way the poetry I write is not. Like, a traditionally published novel is more "acceptable" than a poetry chapbook because corporate publishing generally favors novels over poetry. The market is everywhere, blergh!
Thank you both so much, Meredith and Nancy, for sharing this post!