Thinking good thoughts for the VBT (I AM that kind of person) and that your family vaycay is more joy than drag! Love so much in here, really resonating with the "personal essays are contemporary" sentiment - I frequently have people read a piece and reach out to be like 'are you okay?' and I'm like 'oh, that was like YESTERDAY!!!!' :)
Loved the links and mention of Maggie Smith's essay! I shared it on my own Substack last week (https://elline.substack.com/p/napowrimo-hello) and see why it's such a lightning rod for mother-writers. I'm curious to see how she addresses financial discrepancies (assuming she does) in her book. That telling scene reveals how her writing was valued — literally — and there's much to explore beyond just the traditional split between the higher earner commanding more time/space, and the lower earner expected to pick up all the slack. The fact that writing poetry often means little literal pay off (though her ensuing books since her poem went viral, including this one, are going to be real payback, so to speak) means that there has to be respect for work that might never be compensated, or done in additional to paying work. I'd love to see more nuanced writing about either openly being supported by a partner's job, holding a non-creative job + writing, hence maintaining dual work tracks, or consciously admitting creative writing is committing to a low-paying field with other (non material) rewards. Nicole Chung has been open about this in some of her recent essays. How this plays out in the context of family dynamics, gender and parenting is a such a complicated nexus.
I have always been a parent who ditches my kids multiple times per year. Sometimes this is for work and sometimes this is because I need time to not be needed by anyone for a few days. No marriage is perfect, including mine, but one thing that makes me feel good about the overall state of mine is that my husband never bats an eye at me leaving and actively encourages me to book a hotel when I'm starting to feel burnt out. I can't miss the kids (and him) if I never leave, so leaving is healthy, I think.
Thinking good thoughts for the VBT (I AM that kind of person) and that your family vaycay is more joy than drag! Love so much in here, really resonating with the "personal essays are contemporary" sentiment - I frequently have people read a piece and reach out to be like 'are you okay?' and I'm like 'oh, that was like YESTERDAY!!!!' :)
Loved the links and mention of Maggie Smith's essay! I shared it on my own Substack last week (https://elline.substack.com/p/napowrimo-hello) and see why it's such a lightning rod for mother-writers. I'm curious to see how she addresses financial discrepancies (assuming she does) in her book. That telling scene reveals how her writing was valued — literally — and there's much to explore beyond just the traditional split between the higher earner commanding more time/space, and the lower earner expected to pick up all the slack. The fact that writing poetry often means little literal pay off (though her ensuing books since her poem went viral, including this one, are going to be real payback, so to speak) means that there has to be respect for work that might never be compensated, or done in additional to paying work. I'd love to see more nuanced writing about either openly being supported by a partner's job, holding a non-creative job + writing, hence maintaining dual work tracks, or consciously admitting creative writing is committing to a low-paying field with other (non material) rewards. Nicole Chung has been open about this in some of her recent essays. How this plays out in the context of family dynamics, gender and parenting is a such a complicated nexus.
I have always been a parent who ditches my kids multiple times per year. Sometimes this is for work and sometimes this is because I need time to not be needed by anyone for a few days. No marriage is perfect, including mine, but one thing that makes me feel good about the overall state of mine is that my husband never bats an eye at me leaving and actively encourages me to book a hotel when I'm starting to feel burnt out. I can't miss the kids (and him) if I never leave, so leaving is healthy, I think.