Because we all do better with discussion and accountability, I thought we’d try something new today: a discussion thread about what we need and how we’re asking for it. In the October intentions newsletter, I wrote about asking for time, feedback, and encouragement. (And I shared Lauren Groff’s knockout aspire-to-that-level-of-confidence contract about her writing life!)
So what is it that you need for your writing life this month, and how are you asking for it?
We’re not talking about pie in the sky, send it out into the universe kind of requests. (I mean, we *all* want a book deal and a month alone in the woods to write, right?) What I’m thinking about is much more daily and practical—the kind of support people already in your life can give you.
A little note about asking for help: I think a lot of us have been conditioned to think it’s selfish to ask others for time or support, even when we’d happily share our expertise or our dollars or our dinner with those very same people. I’d bet you can think of a time when a friend has asked you for something and you’ve been thrilled to be able to do it. We want to help each other. Trust that the people in your life want to help you, too. I think being honest about what we need and trusting our people to support us is a way of showing up honestly in the relationships and communities that matter to us.
So let’s share: how are you asking for what you need this month?
I'll start: I've been asking my husband for time in various ways (I'm taking a research trip with my mom this week and going away for a week to write in December). What's harder for me is asking for encouragement because I don't want to admit when I'm struggling. So I've been working on that. I met up with a friend on campus on Thursday, and I'd spent the whole day struggling with book proposal revisions and was just feeling terrible about it. But when my friend asked me how I was, my first impulse was to be like, "great!" but instead I said, "not great, really" and talking about how it was going and getting her encouragement went a long way.
And! I can't personally offer anyone much in the way of money or time, but I do have lots of resources--so if you're looking for info on writing-related things, throw that request in here, too. I'm a bit collector of articles and lists on everything from revising a poetry manuscript to writing residencies you can go to for just a week or a couple days. Let's also use this space to share the knowledge and expertise in this community.
I have a writing group that meets monthly. At the end of September's session, we all set intentions for the following month to work on or finish before we meet again. Our next meeting is coming soon and it really did help me prioritize my writing over all the other things I could do.
Now I want to ask my partner to help me set times when I can write without guilt. He's super supportive and yet it's difficult to step away sometimes. If we're all in agreement, I won't have any qualms AND he can hold me to it.
I’m in a writing workshop, the feedback I got was be more cohesive. Putting words on the page is fine, putting knowing what to do afterwards is hard. I have drawers full of stuff, but I’m not sure what to submit. Still working towards that first book.
I'll start: I've been asking my husband for time in various ways (I'm taking a research trip with my mom this week and going away for a week to write in December). What's harder for me is asking for encouragement because I don't want to admit when I'm struggling. So I've been working on that. I met up with a friend on campus on Thursday, and I'd spent the whole day struggling with book proposal revisions and was just feeling terrible about it. But when my friend asked me how I was, my first impulse was to be like, "great!" but instead I said, "not great, really" and talking about how it was going and getting her encouragement went a long way.
And! I can't personally offer anyone much in the way of money or time, but I do have lots of resources--so if you're looking for info on writing-related things, throw that request in here, too. I'm a bit collector of articles and lists on everything from revising a poetry manuscript to writing residencies you can go to for just a week or a couple days. Let's also use this space to share the knowledge and expertise in this community.
I have a writing group that meets monthly. At the end of September's session, we all set intentions for the following month to work on or finish before we meet again. Our next meeting is coming soon and it really did help me prioritize my writing over all the other things I could do.
Now I want to ask my partner to help me set times when I can write without guilt. He's super supportive and yet it's difficult to step away sometimes. If we're all in agreement, I won't have any qualms AND he can hold me to it.
I’m in a writing workshop, the feedback I got was be more cohesive. Putting words on the page is fine, putting knowing what to do afterwards is hard. I have drawers full of stuff, but I’m not sure what to submit. Still working towards that first book.