"becoming a mother not only provided me with the gift of having something to say, but the confidence to share my words with others."
memoirist Barrie Miskin on how motherhood gave her both a story she needed to tell and the confidence she needed to become a writer
Hello there! This is a good creatures interview, a series that explores the intersection of caregiving and creative practice.
If you know (or are!) a good creature whose work we should feature, send me an email—you can just reply to this newsletter.
Today’s interview is with Barrie Miskin, whose debut memoir, Hell Gate Bridge, is out this week. Hell Gate Bridge tells the story of an extremely rare mental illness Barrie experienced during her pregnancy and into early motherhood. I found the exploration of how very hard it is to get effective, compassionate care for maternal mental health conditions so moving. Hell Gate Bridge was listed as one of the Washington Post’s 10 noteworthy books for June, where Becky Meloan wrote that “Miskin’s searing memoir about her experience with a mysterious mental illness during and after her pregnancy provides a haunting window into the state of health care in the United States.”
Reading Hell Gate Bridge, I also thought a lot about Catherine Cho’s Inferno: A Memoir of Motherhood and Madness, a really stunning book about postpartum psychosis, which I reviewed for Literary Mama a couple years ago. How we talk about postpartum depression and even postpartum anxiety has really changed in the decade since I became a mother, but severe mental illness remains really underdiscussed, and I’m so grateful to writers like Cho and Miskin who share their stories.
Below, we talk about how becoming a mother gave Barrie the impetus to finally take up her lifelong dream of writing and the struggle to steal time during the work day for writing.
Who do you care for?
I care for my daughter Nora, age 7 and our Betta fish, Shumai. I am also a Literacy Specialist and work with students from Kindergarten through 12th grade. In that sense, I provide care for my community.
What kind of creative work do you do?
I am a debut writer and the author of the brand new memoir Hell Gate Bridge: A Memoir of Motherhood, Madness and Hope out now from Woodhall Press.
What are some ways care-giving fosters creativity and vice versa?
I actually came to writing later in life - I began shortly before my 43rd birthday. My daughter was already almost 3 years old. I never knew a writing life before she was here.
On a more concrete level, my book is about how I struggled with a maternal mental illness while pregnant and during the first few years of her life, so motherhood in and of itself is what gave me my first story to tell. But becoming a mom also gave me the strength, confidence and passion I needed in order to become a writer.
I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was 3 years old - I actually vividly remember lying on my childhood bedroom floor with a copy of Highlights for Children and knowing, in that moment, that I wanted to write the stories that appeared in those magazine pages. Throughout my childhood and into my present adult life, I have always read voraciously but I was tentative about putting words of my own onto the page. Somehow, becoming a mother not only provided me with the gift of having something to say, but the confidence to share my words with others.
What is difficult about being creative and a caregiver?
Time! I realize now that time is such a gift. I began writing during the pandemic - an awful period - but I was teaching remotely and our daughter was in daycare so I had these empty midday hours that I was able to fill with creative work. I think since that was the period when I began writing in earnest, I had it in my mind that the time would always appear and the words would always flow.
Now, I teach full time in person and our daughter is in first grade and has her own little life that needs to be managed and we have friends and family we like to make space for. The days just slip away from me. I’m sadly not one of those people who likes to write after bed or in the morning hours before everyone is awake.
Summers are a fertile period because I’m off from work and our daughter is at day camp. I also like weekend mornings and have an office at the school where I teach where I can sometimes steal away a lunch hour or two.
My husband is an incredible partner and has been a musician his entire life, so he understands the importance of carving out that space to create. We support one another in our creative endeavors and pick up each other’s slack when we need to.
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Who provided a model for you in terms of combining caregiving and creativity?
The most incredible and surprising part of this journey for me has been the deep connections and friendships I’ve fostered with other writers - most of whom are mothers to young children as well. These relationships nourish me and provide me with a wellspring of strength as a mother, a writer and a friend.
One of the first writers who befriended me, Elle Nash, has a child my daughter’s age and mentored me in managing the creative/caregiver balance. She’s very wise and very generous in sharing her wisdom. Elle encouraged me to give myself permission to protect my writing time. Still, this is something I continue to struggle with.
I also rely on the friendship and support of writers Kate Brody and Margo Steines, who also have small children and are quite savvy in navigating the world of publishing. [ed. note: we featured Kate Brody in a good creatures interview here, and I’ve got an interview with Margo Steines coming soon!] It takes, as they say, a village.
What are some creative milestones you’re looking forward to? Or ones you “missed” due to the both/and aspects of your life?
I’m both thrilled and excited for the debut of Hell Gate Bridge. This is something I had always wished for but am still shocked that it has become a reality. I’m looking forward to connecting with readers for whom the book might provide a sense of comfort and hope.
I’m also looking forward to what’s next. Last summer, during one of the periods where I had time to write while my daughter was at camp, I tried my hand at writing a novel. I’m obsessed with literary thrillers like Lindsay Hunter’s Hot Springs Drive or Nicola Maye Goldberg’s Nothing Can Hurt You and wanted to write something in the same vein. Needless to say, after about 150 pages I sadly learned that my talents do not lie in the fiction realm and my half-finished literary thriller now lives in the proverbial drawer.
For me, writing nonfiction seems to fit and flow more easily. I’d love to write a collection of essays in the same style of my literary heroes Leslie Jamison, Margo Steines and Melissa Febos. I have some ideas floating around in the ether and can’t wait to solidify them into words on the page.
Barrie Miskin's writing has appeared in Hobart, Narratively, Expat Press and elsewhere. Her interviews can be found in Write or Die magazine, where she is a regular contributor. Barrie is also a teacher in Astoria, New York, where she lives with her husband and daughter. Hell Gate Bridge is her first book.
You can find Barrie on Twitter and Instagram at @barrie_m, and you can read more at her website. Her book launch with Kate Brody is Friday, June 7th at 7pm in New York at Astoria Bookshop. You can get more info about the event here.
if you liked this interview with Barrie, I think you’ll love these other pieces, on caregiving as a spark for creative work
a good creatures interview with poet Eugenia Leigh
a good creatures interview with writer and illustrator Emily Zilber
a writing prompt, on mothering and ambition, featuring a poem by Emily Mohn-Slate, of
Write More, Be Less Careful is a newsletter about why writing is hard & how to do it anyway. You can find my books here and read other recent writing here.
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Looking forward to reading Barrie Miskin's memoir.
Love Barrie! 💕✨